Frozen Assets

Eight Months

Dear Axel,

You just turned 8 months old!  (Like always, I'm late with your letter.) Despite your happy disposition, it was a pretty rough month. Early in the month your Great Grandpa passed away. Daddy was with him when he passed away, and if you hadn't been sick with a bad cold, we would have been there too. I know he was so thrilled to have known you even for this short amount of time, and I know he will enjoy keeping an eye on you from wherever he is now.

You've had a cold (or several colds) for about a month. We've seen your doctor three times so far, and at our last visit he said you needed an inhaler to help your cough go away. I'm worried that you inherited my bad lungs, but on the other hand hopefully we'll be able to keep them healthy knowing what we're up against. You REALLY hate the inhaler - I have to hold you down and put a mask over your face to give it to you. You usually forgive me after a few minutes, especially if I let you have milk afterward. I hope we get this stuff cleared up before too long! I hate seeing you so miserable.

You started daycare right around your 7 month mark, and so far you're doing really well there - except for the whole part about picking up germs... The teachers love you, and you seem to really love watching the little babies, and playing with the bigger ones. You really need to start crawling, though, so you can attack them like they attack you. The little girls really seem to like crawling up to you - you're such a flirt! Of course, you then try to grab them, and then they cry. Today one of them grabbed you and actually scratched your cheek! I know you've done that to her before, so I wasn't too worried.

A couple weeks ago you decided you didn't want to drink from a bottle. I was worried it might be a permanent issue, but you started drinking from them just fine the following week. This has prompted me to make more of an effort to get you trained on your sippy cup! Right now you'll take a few sips of water from it, but mostly you just like chewing on it.

It hasn't all been tough going - you have had some interesting achievements! You're eating many more foods, including chunkier things like smashed avocados. You've also become quite good at eating Cheerios. You pick them up with your thumb and forefinger and actually get them into your mouth.  Very advanced.  You make me so proud!

You're also becoming very accomplished with rolling. You can roll both directions, front to back and back to front - this makes you VERY mobile. You no longer cry when you roll into some furniture, because you can actually reverse direction and go see other things. This has made diaper changes quite challenging though. We've had several wrestling matches lately trying to get the job done.

I can also tell that you're starting to think about crawling. If one of your toys is out of reach, you'll lunge for it - so far this usually results in you landing on your tummy. Soon I'm sure you'll land on your hands and knees.... and then it's just a matter of time before you'll be terrorizing the whole house.

I can't wait to see what you'll do next! I love you so much.

Love,

Mommy

What's that smell... Guilt?

Something very strange happened yesterday at Axel's daycare...

He refused to drink two bottles of breast milk.

Axel. My Axel. My 26-pound cherubic boy refused to drink the milk I laboriously pumped for him. I'm sure I'm not the first mom to feel hurt and offended when her baby refuses her milk. And I'm perfectly capable of making myself feel bad - did I eat something funny that day? Did the milk turn a little sour because I froze it more than 24 hours after pumping it? Is my son mad at me for leaving him at daycare?

See - I'm chock full of maternal guilt. No need for anybody to help out there, so you can imagine how I felt when the daycare lady said "Maybe he doesn't want his mother's milk! He doesn't like the taste of it!" She turned to the other daycare lady and said "Remember that other boy - he stopped liking his mother's milk too! Yeah, Axel doesn't want his mother's milk."

Yeah, thanks. He didn't seem to complain when he was latched onto my boob for the better part of the previous night! This is the boy who slurps happily away, stopping on occasion to give me a big milky grin, or to look around the room before diving back in.  He loves my milk. Perhaps he just didn't like who was giving it to him with the bottle! You can tell me my son doesn't like peaches, green beans or squash - but don't tell me he doesn't like my milk. It's not your place.

I tried to give him the bottle - he wouldn't take it. I'm actually fairly certain that the main reason for this is the fact that the milk was frozen late - we had to skip out on daycare on Friday because the husband's car died and he took mine. I read over at Kateri's that excess lipase can make milk taste funny quickly - I suspect this is the case with mine, because when I tasted it (don't get grossed out - you've tasted your own sweat I'm sure - this is similar to that but tastes way better) it was a little off.

But when I picked him up, I also noticed a smell. A very heady perfume - almost musky, and certainly nauseating. I'd have a hard time eating if that scent were all over me. In fact, when I got him home I quickly stripped off his sweatshirt and pulled off my sweater just to avoid the stink. I assume it was the daycare lady's perfume - maybe she didn't shower and was trying to smell good? In any case, an infants' room is not the place to wear heavy perfume - or any at all, for that matter. Maybe that wasn't what caused Axel to refuse the bottles, but it certainly could have aggravated the situation. Infants are very sensitive to scents, and I imagine the really tiny babies had more issues with it. The poor things go from their mothers' sweet milky scent to this horrific perfume - blech.

I'm going to wait and see how he does today before freaking out too much. Regardless, though, I will be making a call to the daycare center's director to chat about both the inappropriate commentary (He doesn't like my milk?  Right.) and the excessive noxious vapors. I mean perfume.

I just really hope he drinks his milk today.

Perspective

I was all ready to write a pity party blog post today. It was going to go like this:

I spent the weekend as a single mom - the husband went off to play with his buddies. While he was gone, the baby developed a fever and was not at all happy. We went to the doctor, who couldn't find an infection so sent us home with instructions to take Tylenol and come back if the fever was still there in a few days. This was our second trip to the doctor this week as he's had a cold with a nasty, wheezy cough. Drugged up on Tylenol, he slept like an angel and awoke on Saturday his normal - but still coughing and snuffling - self.

Though I had great quality time with my precious son, I got nothing done house-wise the entire weekend. My mom relieved me on Saturday so I could at least go to the grocery store, but as of last night some of the groceries still remained in their bags, not on the shelves.

I resisted the temptation to tell my husband he wasn't allowed to go on any more of these weekend-long outings. Or at least maybe limit them to once or twice a year... I thought maybe I was just feeling extra down because the house was a disaster and the kid was sick, making the weekend tough. Still, I couldn't help but harbor a little resentment that he was off having fun and not home having family time. When he returned he did entertain the kid while I scurried around getting things ready for today. I never settled down, though - there were bottles to prepare, dishes to wash, diapers and clothes to wash, pump parts to clean. And I still needed to buy more jarred fruit for Axel to take to daycare. By the time I finished all of these things and caught up on a little bit of email, it was midnight. When I finally crawled into bed (where the husband had been sleeping for the past hour or so), I couldn't sleep. I was too wired, probably still bitter, and also coming down with a cold. I read for a while trying to get sleepy, then finally turned off the light and attempted sleep. That's when my husband had a coughing fit, rolled over and started snoring.

I stared at the ceiling waiting for the snoring to subside, and when it didn't, I gently tapped him on the shoulder, and said in a whimpery voice "could you roll over? You're snoring." He obliged, and the snoring dissipated. I was still wired.

Then Axel cried out. By now it was about 1:00. I didn't have the energy to shush him back to sleep, so I gave in and let him nurse a little bit. He was back in his crib sleeping by 1:20. I crawled back in bed, still wired. I must have slept a little, but was awoken again at 3:30. Again, I nursed him, and put him back in bed, and he wouldn't sleep. I guess he was wired too.

I tried and tried to shush him, but finally gave up and brought him to our bed so he could nurse himself to sleep. Normally this is how I get sleep in these situations. Unfortunately, this time he snored.  And snored. And snuffled. And I was already so wired that this made it completely impossible to sleep.  After a period of time I deemed sufficient for him to achieve deep sleep, I transfered him back to his crib. Where he slept. For about 10 minutes.  And then he cried.

If I were a baby, I would have been classified as an "overtired" baby. The crying kind. The kind that's so worked up they don't know what to do.  I scooped up my baby and held him close, bargaining with him. "Sweetie - Mommy needs to sleep, too." I offered him fingers to chew on - which is saying a lot, considering the sharp objects that exist in his mouth. I bounced him, whispered soothing things in his ear. Dribbled salty tears onto his downy soft hair.

It's obvious that something was really bothering him, but I couldn't fix it with anything other than a boob. The husband took over for a short while, getting him to sleep in his lap in the chair, but every time he tried to get him back in the crib he cried out again. 5:00 am came and he was about to take him to the family room when I told him to just bring him back to bed. At that point it was more important that the baby sleep than that I sleep. And so he was back on the boob, and drifted off eventually. And started snoring again.

I know I lay awake watching him for a while, but I assume at some point I did finally sleep. The next thing I knew, it was 7am and my husband was kissing us goodbye. At which point Axel woke up crying again. And again we used the boob to sedate him. (I convinced myself that this was his normal morning feeding so I shouldn't withhold it.)  And so I was awake, but he was asleep. And he slept until 8:30. I went ahead and got completely ready for work, including loading up the car.  When he woke up I quickly dressed him and we left. I was only an hour late for work. (Normally I'm 1/2 an hour late - still can't figure out how to get here on time.)

So I groggily wandered into my office, said hello to our admin. I asked her how her weekend was and she told me her mother has bone cancer. My heart sank for her. I offered my sympathies and went to the kitchen to get her a cup of coffee. That's where I ran into a coworker who told me that another coworker is out this week because he's starting 12 weeks of chemo.

Suddenly sleep deprivation doesn't sound so bad. And I remember what it took to get my little sleepless sweet pea to begin with, and my overtired mommy tears are replaced with thankful tears of joy.

I am blessed.

Seven Months

(I started this post three days ago, but alas, the frantic pace of work and the demands of a sick and/or teething baby have kept it as yet unfinished.)

Dear Axel,

Two days ago you turned 7 months old! I'm sorry I didn't write on time, but I was particularly frustrated that day - it was my first day back in the office with you in day care. I was very busy at work and managed to not totally freak out about you being with strangers. However, when I picked you up, I found that you had been fed too much milk and food, and then spit it all up. You had also only had one very short nap! So you were cranky and probably had an upset tummy. Despite that, you smiled when I came in and didn't seem to hold it against me. The next day went much much better- you hardly spit up, and actually took two (very short) naps. Better than one! The teachers at daycare really like you, and you seem to really like them and especially all the other kids!

OK, now on to the business of the past month! The most recent and exciting development of the past month is that you can now roll from your back to your tummy... making you somewhat mobile. I left you in the middle of the floor in your room briefly, and when I came back, I found you wedged under your dresser. We really need to step up the baby-proofing!

We had a wonderful Christmas visiting family. We were a little concerned that you wouldn't handle all the shuffling from place to place well, but you behaved like a mostly perfect little gentleman! You had some short naps here and there (on my lap), and rested during the car rides. We hosted Christmas Eve dinner at our house, but didn't get the food on the table before you needed to go to bed. So you missed most of that, but at least you slept really well that night. In fact, I don't think you woke up at all between 11 and 6.  Santa and all of your friends and family brought you lots of fun toys, cute clothes, and a few donations to your college fund! Daddy and I got a new camera so that we can take even more pictures of you! The best part of the holidays was visiting the various parts of the family. One of your Great Grandpas hasn't been feeling well lately, so I know he especially enjoyed seeing you.

After Christmas we drove down to visit with your Aunt, Uncle and cousin. During that trip we went to the zoo! You got to ride in the wagon with your cousin - I think you were a little worried at first, but certainly got the hang of it eventually.

We got a glimpse of how you enjoy being around other kids, and sure enough, at daycare you smile at them and really enjoy watching the older ones move around.

In addition to big milestones like rolling over, you're accomplishing so many smaller things! You're really getting good at using your hands to grab toys, faces, jewelry, cheerios, and well, pretty much everything. Your vocal skills are also improving by leaps and bounds! You've added a whole assortment of consonants and we regularly hear you say "dadadadadada" and "mamamamamama", though you don't seem to know what they mean yet. You have a great sense of humor and an absolutely infectious laugh. We love to dance - I'll grab you and dance all over the place with you, making up songs like the conga-esque "dancing dancing dance-ING, dancing dancing dance-ING". You also enjoy dancing by yourself on the floor, bouncing yourself up an down while seated. The daycare teachers got a big kick out of that.

Time is flying by, and I can't believe how much your personality is developing! It's hard to imagine that within the next several months you'll be truly mobile, getting into all sorts of mischief, no doubt. We're taking you to Yosemite in a couple months - I'm sure you'll love it as much as we do.

I must finish this now, otherwise it'll never get done! I love you so much, my sweet boy.

Love,
Mommy

Stats Update

We had the kiddo's 6 month checkup last week. The unpleasantness was, of course, the shots. But before all that, we confirmed that he is indeed a healthy kid. His growth is still off the charts, and while his weight is curving back towards the chart, his height is going further OFF the chart. I guess all his jumping is making him thin out. Of course, saying he's thinning out is pretty funny if you see his little hams... I mean thighs. It's all relative, I suppose.

Before he was born we bought him a cute little summery jumper, size 12 month thinking he would be wearing it next summer. HA! He never wore it, and never will.

So anyway, here it is:

Height: 29 1/4 "
Weight: 24 lbs, 6 oz
Head circumference: 47 1/2 cm

And another tooth popped out! You can seem them both when he smiles now - very cute.

Six Months

Dear Axel,

Today you are six months old! Half a year has already gone by since you entered our lives. I can't believe it. Whenever I see new mommies and daddies with babies I wonder how anybody could possibly have a baby younger than mine - it seems like just yesterday that you came along. (Yet it feels like you've always belonged to the family.)

This month has been very eventful! You got to celebrate your first Thanksgiving. We visited with my family first, including lots of play time with your cousin. She was very excited to see you and loved to get close and say "Hello Axel!"  We also visited Daddy's family and another cousin. You were all smiles for your great grandparents and aunts and uncles. A couple days before Thanksgiving we started giving you solid foods. You're still warming up to the idea, and perhaps we just need to try more interesting foods. You seem to like sweet potatoes, and I sneak a little rice cereal into the mix so that you get your iron. Yesterday I gave you some banana chunks in a little mesh bag - oh boy did you like that! You gummed the heck out of it until there was little left but some pulpy goo inside the bag. In a couple days we'll try a new food... maybe carrots?

You've been getting stronger every day. The sitting that we started last month is still going very well. You can sit all by yourself for at least 15 minutes (though I haven't timed you). I still make sure you have pillows all around just in case you topple over, but that isn't very often anymore. Of course, if something interesting happens behind you, you fall over trying to see it. Your legs are really getting strong too! You love to stand up and even jump if I hold onto you. Sometimes it's hard to convince you to sit down - you'd much rather stand. If I stand you on my lap and then lean you against my chest, you'll start climbing on me... you obviously are starting to think about moving around on your own!

Just a couple days ago you decided it was high time to roll over from your tummy to your back. It looked like it took some effort, but you managed to put your head down on your arm, and push yourself over using your opposite arm and leg. I was so proud of you! You've rolled over nearly every time I've put you down on your tummy since then. It's amazing to see you think about the problem and find a solution. Once you figure out how to roll from your back to your tummy we'll really have to start baby-proofing the house. When I was a baby I rolled everywhere instead of crawling.

You're always such a happy boy. You're so happy we had no idea you were starting to grow teeth, but we just discovered one in your mouth! It's your lower front right tooth, and it's really quite sharp. I hope you'll be a good boy and not bite me when you're nursing. So far, so good.

The only bad thing that happened this month is that you got your first cold. Luckily it didn't hit you very hard, but I caught it from you and was quite sick for a week or so. Let's not do that again for a while. You'll be starting day care in January and I know you'll be catching more colds once that starts, so at least we will have had a little experience in the area.

Christmas is coming soon, and we can't wait to enjoy it with you. I remember when I was pregnant, looking forward to Christmas with a 6-month old. I know you'll probably be mostly interested in the wrapping paper this year, but I still can't wait! Our tree is up in the living room (and tonight we'll actually start decorating it...) Soon we'll have all of the nutcrackers and other lights and decorations up. Next year you can have Christmas cookies, but this year you'll just have to settle for getting it in the form of cookie-flavored milk.

I love you beyond words (as usual). You are such a charming little boy, smiling all the time, and every day your personality reveals itself a little more. You are simply amazing.

Love,

Mommy

Too exciting to wait until Friday...

I've become such a bad blogger that I don't think I should post until my monthly notes to my son, but this just couldn't wait.

Today he rolled over, tummy to back. The big guy actually figured it out, got REALLY mad that he was on his tummy and finally went for it. TWICE even. What a brilliant child. Sure, it was a couple months (or so) after the books said he should be able to do it, but that made it -that- much more exciting when he finally cooperated.

He also seems to have sprouted a tooth - at least that's what I think the sharp thing in his mouth is. I can't see it, I can only feel it when he gnaws on my fingers. I haven't noticed any excessive grumpiness or drool, and certainly no rash on the chin. Dodged a bullet, I'd say.

More details on the past month's events coming up soon!

Five Months (oh where does the time go?)

Sweet pea,

You turned five months old yesterday! I didn't get a chance to write this until today because I was too busy trying to convince you to roll over. You really have no interest in it. I don't blame you - why would you want to roll over when it's WAY more fun to try to sit up? You love sitting up. In fact, right now you're in your swing refusing to put your head back and relax. (And please, PLEASE, would you take a nap?) You just keep leaning forward with a huge grin on your face, feet kicking around, and occasionally a blanket shoved in your mouth. Damn, you're cute. You know it too - when I ask "who's the cutest baby in the world?", you laugh hysterically, and show me your dimples. Oh.my.goodness. I can't handle all the cute. Yes I can. Bring it on.

So this sitting business is pretty darn cool. At my moms class, the leader told us that SOME babies would rather learn to crawl from a seated position, and as long as they still get their tummy time, it's fine to work on sitting. So that day, I plunked you on your tush on the floor and let go - and you stayed upright for a couple seconds! Who knew? Now it's one of your favorite activities. If I can't be there to catch you when you fall over, I sit you in a nursing pillow to prop you up. Seems to work.

Even though you have no interest in rolling over, you've become incredibly adept with your feet. You have a favorite musical gym thingy that you love to push up on with your feet. I'll put you under it and walk away, and when I come back you will have kicked it out of your reach. I suppose I should keep an eye on you... once you knocked the whole contraption over. Very impressive.

We're resisting the temptation to start you on solid foods, though it's obvious you really want to. You watch Daddy and me while we eat, following the fork from our plates to our mouths with your eyes. One more month, sweetie, then the fun (and mess) begins. You're sleeping well with just milk - we've had several nights now where you can last seven hours without eating! Not too shabby.

I'm almost afraid to type this, since I don't want to jinx it, but I think the worst of your spitting up is passed. For the past several days, you've kept most of your food down! Just a little spit up here and there, but nothing like the waterfalls we'd had. Hopefully you'll stay on this trend. When we started working on sitting with you, we had some pretty bad spit-ups, but I think your tummy has started to figure it out.

Halloween was a short while ago, and we dressed you as a skunk.  You never let me put the headpiece on without screaming, and we only got a few pictures of you in a good mood. Here's one:

We left the bib on so the fluffy white fur of the costume wouldn't get in your mouth. (Or at least not as much of it.) You were still pretty darned cute.

I know I say it all the time, but I can't believe how amazing you are, and how much I love you. You are becoming a real little person, with a very distinct personality and temperament. (Luckily, both are really good!)  Daddy and I can't wait until the holidays - I know you won't care too much about it, but it's such a special time of year and we are so looking forward to sharing our traditions with you, and perhaps starting some new ones!

I guess I should finish this now. You're getting angry because you won't.fall.asleep. I little milk ought to take care of that.

I love you!

Love,
Mommy

p.s. Election day was two days ago, and we took you to the polls! You much preferred the walk there and back to the actual standing in line and voting. I'm happy to say that the Democrats have regained the majority of the House and Senate for the first time in 12 years.  Hopefully this means that the war in Iraq won't last forever.  The last time there was an election was June 6th, the day I went into labor with you! We didn't make it to the polls that day. :)

Other Fun Things

In my haste to finish up the four-month post, I realized I left out a lot of stuff. Maybe this is a lesson to me to actually post more than once a month! So here are some of the things I can think of right away.

Cute things my baby does:

1. Makes lots of sounds: "oooh", "mmmm", "ahhhh", "mmmmmmmuh", lip-smacks, "aaaaaah" (said screaming-like)

2. Scratches things, just to hear/feel it. This started with the wall next to the changing table - he just reached up and started doing a quick scratch scratch scratch... Then one day as I was walking him in the park I heard a sound that I assumed was something rubbing on the wheel of the BOB stroller - it had that tempo. When I stopped to investigate, the sound kept going and I realized Axel was scratching the inside of the stroller. Right now he's reaching over his head in the bouncy seat and scratching at that. crab pincer-like.  I'm starting to think I should put sand paper on various surfaces so he can file his own nails!

3. Enjoys a good foot rub. When he's kicking wildly in his crib, I'll grab his foot and give it a firm massage. Often this calms him down - on a couple occasions it's actually put him to sleep. (Like just now, only he's not in his crib... more on that later.)

4. Does this funny thing where he arches his back and presses his chin into his chest and smiles a huge closed-mouth smile. We call it his squishy face, and it goes like this:

You can really see his dimples this way!

Not quite as cute:

1. Spits up all.the.time. In the last week he majorly doused both my mom and my sister-in-law. I'm used to it, but I feel bad when he hits other people. It doesn't usually upset him, and he's clearly gaining plenty of weight, so there's nothing to do about it other than lots of laundry.

2. Sleeps inconsistently. We've had two nights where he slept "all night" - meaning 8 hours from 10 to 6. Of course, this meant I was up pumping to relieve the pain in my boobs at about 4:30! We're getting somewhat regular nights of only one feeding between 10 and 6, usually around 3am. I always feed him at 10 just to give myself a running start of sleep knowing he has a full belly. More regularly he's up a couple times between 10 and 6, and I bring him into our bed at the second waking. For the sake of full disclosure, the whole bedtime routine usually goes... 7-ish, feed and change into jammies. 8:00 - asleep in bouncy seat in family room. 10:00, transfer to nursery, feed, diaper if necessary, and plop into the crib. (He usually sorta wakes up for this.) Some nights I attempt to put him directly in his crib at 8, but usually he fights it for an hour or so. I figure if he's asleep in his bouncy seat, at least he's SLEEPING, and I can do other things, like eat dinner for example. We'll change this routine before too long, but it's really working well for now.

Naps are another thing entirely. I need for him to sleep in a crib for naps, since that's what he'll have to do in day care, and he's only 3 pounds shy of the weight limit on both the swing and the bouncy seat. I've successfully put him down in the crib for naps a few times in the last week. He does fine for at least 10 or 15 minutes, but then he'll wake up screaming bloody murder. I think he's getting a little better, as he actually lasted 30 minutes yesterday. I'm going to keep at it with the hopes that he'll figure it out eventually. I'm not desperate enough to let him cry it out yet. We let him cry a bit sometimes to release a little energy, but he has yet to cry himself to sleep.  He's such a great baby during his awake times that letting him scream just doesn't seem natural. As I said, I'm not desperate yet... just give it some time.  I don't remember the circumstances of this, but apparently at some point he fell asleep on a towel on the floor:

Actually, now that I think about it, the fact that he's in his jammies means he was probably getting his diaper changed after the 10pm feeding. He's strange - a diaper change will often calm him down and make him sleepy.

That's all I can come up with for now... it's a good thing the cute list is longer than the not-so-cute list!

Four Months - for real this time

My sweet boy,

Today you are four months and a day old! You continue to be a joy and light up my every day. In this past month you've continued to grow bigger and stronger. At the doctor this morning, you measured 27 inches tall, and 21 pounds 13 ounces! At this rate you'll outgrow all the big kid clothes I just got for you in another month or so. Do me a favor and slow down a bit, would you? With your advanced size you also seem to have advanced skills! You love to grab anything that comes remotely near your hands and shove it in your mouth to explore with your taste buds. You love to look at people and your toys. At our music class, you especially love to walk around (in my arms) to look at other babies. You and your pal J laugh hysterically at each other - it's so funny it makes me cry!

When we play on the floor, you've started to curl up your legs and roll to the side. You haven't yet figured out how to roll all the way over, but I suspect it won't be too long before you do. When I put you on your tummy you actually hold your head up high and smile for a few minutes before you realize that it's hard work and then ask me to roll you back over. Grandma plays the rolling game with you too and while you were a little hesitant about it at first, now you give her big smiles every time she rolls you onto your back.

We started playing with the Exersaucer last week, and you really seem to enjoy it... at least for a few minutes. There are a few things for you to figure out still, like how to push yourself around to access all the toys. Once you do that, I think we'll all have fun with it.

I don't want to pressure you or anything, but you seem to have an ear for music. This makes me very happy since I've studied music all my life and it is a fundamental piece of who I am. You love to listen to Granddad play the piano and harpsichord, and you enjoy our music class as well! When people suggest maybe you'll be a football player, I suggest maybe you'll be an upright bass player. You seem to be headed in the right direction height-wise! (If you want to follow in my footsteps and play the flute, that's OK too.)

We're still searching for the perfect place for you to go when I have to return to work full time. Hopefully we'll make a final decision soon and you'll meet lots of fun kids! I know you'll enjoy being around other kids during the day - they'll be much more fun than boring ol' me!

In other news, I'm sad to say that your "sister", the family cat named Shadow, went to kitty heaven today. She was eighteen years old, and I'll always think of her as my first child. Well, at least she was the first being I ever felt a real maternal instinct towards. You used to like looking at the kitty, and she tolerated you quite well. On a couple occasions she actually managed to squeeze herself onto my lap while I nursed you. She was very happy up until a few weeks ago when her body started to shut down. I'll miss her dearly, but I'm so happy to have you in my life now. You cheered me up today despite the fact that you just got three shots in your chubby little thighs.

And how could I not smile through the tears looking at this cute little face!

I love you!

Love,
Mommy